The Fluff for 12/29/09

Charlie Sheen threatened his new wife with a knife! On Christmas Day in Aspen, Colorado! She called the cops! He said it’s her fault, she’s a drunk! Never mind his druggy past and a bloody divorce with his former wife and — what does she do for a living, again? — Denise Richards.

Is it wrong of me to think Aspen, Colorado would be a great place to set a slasher flick? All those rich people, all that clean white snow. And I don’t even watch slasher flicks.

What else? Ohhh no. TMZ says Lindsay Lohan’s dad has been accused by his ex-girlfriend of abusing her at least 12 times over the past two years. Charming family. Lindsay is the most depressing of train wrecks, true, but with a dad like this, did she ever really have a chance?

Oh yes, a note, I know it’s a long time until January 6, but that indeed is the date on which the fabulously lame People’s Choice Awards will be aired! I love all the acceptance speeches thanking The People. Which people? The fabulous people? The middle-America people? The Little People? Tune in and see! I’ll be bloggin the ceremony, but must do it on a time-delay basis to accommodate Real Life, and by that I mean my job. Check in late Wednesday or early Thursday if you like, and I’ll try to arrange to do subsequent awards shows live. I do love snarking about pretty people and pretty clothes, don’t you?

In the latest Tales of the Narcisterati, also known as Faux-lebrities or Wanna-be’s or Just Horrifyingly Pitiful People, readers of People magazine say that the reported trashing of Jon Gosselin’s apartment over Christmas was a publicity stunt.  Gosselin’s story is that his underage (well, almost, really) ex Hailey Glassman did it. Frankly, I  think it was just revenge of the universe on Mr. Gosselin for being pathetic and annoying. I mean, really.

Also? Narcisterata Kim Kardashian got peed on by a monkey. Looky! http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20333403,00.html

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