Jousting, Dueling, and Food on a Stick: Just Like the Olde Dayes

joust6If you’re based in Baltimore or Washington, D.C. — or coming for a visit sometime between August and November — the Maryland Renaissance Festival in Crownsville, Maryland is a fine place to shut your eyes to reality and embrace Utopia, where everyone of note wears Elizabethan costume, duels to the death never end in death, and all foods worth eating come deep-fried and impaled on a stick. Welcome, friends.

If you are to visit the Renaissance Festival, it helps to dress like the natives. If you don’t have your own set of leather armor at home, the Festival people will be glad to rent you some suitable duds. The festival grounds are permanent, and quite lovely. Should you be in a hurry to find the nearest privy or turkey leg, a map is kindly provided.



Here’s one of the reasons I’m a little hooked on this festival. The architecture. I want to live here.


Also, the residents seem interesting, if weirdly tall.


And the food offerings are unique. At least, I can’t find these items in my modern-day grocery store. Who knew the Elizabethans had such a delightful and greasy diet.steak



But alas, even in utopia, nothing worth having comes for free. Thank goodness the credit card has such a long and storied history.


Then, as now, theft was frowned upon. The King kindly asks that you keep your hands to yourself.


Another wonderful thing about Renaissance times (in addition to how CLEAN everyone seemed to be) is that street performances were everywhere. I don’t know where these people found the time. But see, you can try to catch a magician at his tricks,


enjoy a soothing Renaissance tune,

or learn a thing or two from some impressive street fighters.


Just don’t tick off this guy.


Maybe this guy.


And I don’t know what to tell you about Spiderman here.


The best part is, at the end of the day, all the crowds go home, so if you are homeless, you’ll have a nice private village in which to sleep, until you are founde and arrestede.

In truth, gentle souls, this day of play is worth a king’s ransom. The festival is open on weekends from late August through October, 10 am to 7pm, with tickets starting at $22 for adults and $10 for kids. Come and rewrite history with the good folk of Revel Grove.



4 responses to “Jousting, Dueling, and Food on a Stick: Just Like the Olde Dayes

  1. YAY! So glad to see this post! Also, I have you to thank for my deep fried meat on a stick craving now 🙂

  2. Thanks for reading! Coming up next will be several entries on comic books and superheroes! And zombies!

  3. My favorite RenFair! We skipped it this year to go to the Carolina Renaissance Festival but we’ll be back next year!

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